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Guys.

Y’all.

I…

I just. I just… i have discovered something. And I have laughed too much. I have laughed every time I have tried to explain it to someone. I cannot get through this.


Look. Okay.


There are two things you need to know, here.

First: There’s a style of Greek pottery that was popular during the Hellenic period, for which most of the surviving examples are from southern Italy. We call them ‘fish plates’ because, well, they’re plates, and they’re decorated with fish (and other marine life).

Like this one, currently in the Met:

photo of a fish plate from above. it is a black disk with fish designs in red. There are two bream and a torpedo fish around a central divot in the plate. there are also smaller illustrations of a mussel, a murex, and a articulately impressively executed shrimp.ALT


Or this one, currently in the Cleveland Museum of Art:

another fish plate from above. It had a large octopus, several large bream fish decorated with dots and stripes, as well as tiny details such as shells and even some tiny octopuses.ALT

They’re very cool. We’re not 100% sure what they were for, because most of the surviving ones were found as grave goods, but that’s a different post.


The second thing you need to know is that when we (Classics/archaeology/whatever as a discipline) have a collection of artefacts, like vases, sculptures, paintings, etc. and we do not know the name of the artist, but we’re pretty sure one artist made X, Y and Z artefacts, we come up with a name for that artist. There are a whole bunch of things that could be the source for the name, e.g. where we found most of their work (The Dipylon Master) or the potter with whom they worked (the Amasis Painter), a favourite theme (The Athena Painter), the Museum that ended up with the most famous thing they did (The Berlin Painter) or a notable aspect of their style. Like, say, The Eyebrow Painter.

Guess what kind of pottery the Eyebrow Painter made?

photo of a fish plate depicting two fish and an eel. they all have eyebrows. The fish have arched eyebrows that make them look angry, the eel's eyebrows give it a slightly confused appearance.ALT
a fish plate with a torpedo fish and two other fish. They all have eyebrows that make them look angry. The torpedo fish also has an open mouth, making it look like it is shouting about something.ALT
another fish plate. this one had an eel, a torpedo fish, and another fish. The fish looks angry, but the eel and the torpedo fish both have open mouths full of teeth and appear to be grinning, with eyebrows that make them look like they're gonna cause some trouble.ALT
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